A Special Kind of Valentine

Happy Valentine’s Day to you and yours! I confess that one of the great pleasures I find in life is reading old, and often quite romantic, novels by George MacDonald. He was a contemporary of Charles Dickens, Mark Twain, and other literary giants of the nineteenth century, and did not shy away from sharing his deep faith with his readers. Rather, his novels are always intentionally packed with godly characters and themes, which is so refreshing and encouraging.

Right now, I am reading Thomas Wingfold, Curate (aka The Curate’s Awakening*), which tells the story of a young preacher who, upon confrontation, finds his faith terribly lacking, and throughout the course of the narrative is truly born again. In the meantime, he helps a local sister and brother walk through a dark and devastating time in their lives. As he is coming awake spiritually, Thomas thinks deeply about the reality and importance of the hope found in Jesus Christ…

​“And what multitudes must there not be in the world…, whose hearts, lacerated by no remorse, overwhelmed by no crushing sense of guilt, yet knew their own bitterness, and had no friend radiant enough to make a sunshine in their shady places! He fell into mournful mood over the troubles of his race. Always a kind-hearted fellow, he had not been used to think about such things; he had had troubles of his own, and had got through at least some of them; people must have troubles, else would they grow unendurable for pride and insolence. But now that he had begun to hope he saw a glimmer somewhere afar at the end of the darksome cave in which he had all at once discovered that he was buried alive, he began also to feel how wretched those must be who were groping on without even a hope in their dark eyes.”

​This set me thinking about how often it is too easy to be flippant about others’ pain. We are alive in a generation that is absolutely deadened to deep feeling. We watch movies and TV shows all the time that depict violent, terrible things happening and we don’t even blink an eye, let alone lose any sleep over it. We hear news stories about atrocities, and we go right on to the next thing - just keep scrolling. We move from one “outrage” (which is an effective strategy known as, I believe, “clickbait”) to another, and our blood pressure barely even rises, if at all. Our senses have been overloaded and dulled to the point that just about nothing phases us. We have seen and heard at all.


This all sounds fine, and good, until we take stock of how well we are doing at caring for our neighbors. The sensory-dulling of our world does not serve us well in helping people. It is too easy to be and remain a spectator. I just can’t be bothered to care about pain and brokenness in the people around me when I have the mindset that it’s just another day, after all. Just keep scrolling through life.


Worse, we actually feel a strange sort of giddy relief when bad things happen to other people. Thank God they’re not happening to us! Sickness, legal trouble, drug addictions, marriage implosions, broken relationships, on and on the list goes and I can’t seem to muster up very much care or concern. It feels like the movies that I watch – not my problem. Until of course, it is my problem, and then everything is different.

Once you have experienced something difficult or tragic or unjust, and have had opportunity to see and understand how good, faithful, kind, and gracious God is in the middle of the darkness, it becomes much easier to have compassion, and to want to ease the load of grief for someone else who is going through the same thing. This is one amazing example of how our good Father in heaven makes beauty for ashes every day. People who have walked through difficult, hellacious things, and had their faith strengthened through it can offer God’s comfort and hope like nobody else can. Just a kind voice and sympathetic face uttering the words, “I understand” can be so meaningful to anyone going through a crisis. The weight and authority that is given to someone’s words after walking through their own bitter experiences can give vital hope and courage to others.

Once you have had the terrible experience, you are changed forever. The world tells us all to stay in our pain and never move past it. But God’s Kingdom is so different from this world. We might find ourselves deeply wounded in life, but subsequently uniquely fitted to help others in a powerful way. No one can have compassion for couples who lose a child to miscarriage or stillbirth, or any other way, like another couple who has experienced the same loss and grief. No one can understand what it feels like to get the frightening medical diagnosis like a person who has experienced that same thing. No one can understand what it feels like to hear a knock on the door and to be handed a legal paper that changes your life forever like someone who has heard that same knock. A pink slip at work, blue lights in the driveway, betrayal by a friend, divorce papers… the list of life’s devastations can be long. Until you go through something yourself, it is difficult to put yourself in someone else’s shoes. Once you go through something difficult yourself, and experience firsthand the nearness and comfort of Jesus, it is important to share that comfort and hope with others.


Think about what you have walked through in your own life. What difficult circumstances, what unimaginable realities? We live in a broken world, and everywhere we go are surrounded by people who have endured terrible physical, sexual, and emotional pain or abuse. Or they have lost someone they loved very much in a tragic circumstance. Or they have made terrible choices that yielded bitter fruit. Last time I mentioned the verse in Lamentations that says, “because of God’s great love we are not consumed.” It is amazing that people all around us have lived through some of the difficult circumstances that life has brought their way, and it truly is an incredible miracle when someone makes it through singing the praises of God, with their faith intact and even strengthened.


It is this way that the hands and feet of Jesus are multiplied by the millions. Those of us who have gone through difficult things yet can testify to God‘s grace and nearness even in the darkest, deepest pits can help others who are currently going through a similar situation. Those of us who have experienced slander and betrayal of every kind, but who found comfort from Christ who was betrayed with a kiss from a friend, can encourage others who are currently facing the same abuse and disappointment. Those of us who have endured abuse to our bodies and minds, and were comforted by Jesus who was brutalized and crucified, can be there for people who are freshly suffering through similar things.


This world is cruel and is filled with broken people and broken systems. This is where people of the light can shine brightly. We too have endured difficult, unimaginable things, but in Christ have a peace that passes all understanding and a love that is higher, wider, and stronger than anything that would try to overcome it. 


As we celebrate this special season of love and kindness, be mindful of those who need your encouragement most. Pick up your phone and give them a call or send them a text. Don’t assume that you would be bothering them;  too many of us assume that, and too few of us reach out. Your words and encouragement will be a song in their souls, and will give them strength. Send that email, or flowers, or a card, or a gift – any token of care is so meaningful to someone who is going through the darkest time of their life. The last thing our family, friends, and neighbors need is one more person either adding fuel to the fire that is burning in their life, or totally ignoring them. Instead, may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.

​

- Mary ​

​*that title has all of the broad Scottish dialogue edited into standard English